FALSE SENSE OF SERCURITY

looking at the filled side.

People keep telling me,DON'T LOOK AT THE HALF EMPTY CUP,LOOK AT THE HALF FILLED CUP............its it is'nt easy....HELP HELP HELP

CHARM

charming as much as they can be,it seems to normal for me to NOT create those special feelings towards them...its soo used to me already,protect myself before i get hurt...if for eternity i am like that,i can foresee a lonely future....when can I let go?

awww man if i lose to clement,i would become SOO pissed off,I AM a feminsts afterall,now i worry hy didnt i think earlier???soo dumb of me

COOKING

Guys that can cook and clean will make good people...cause otherwise they will alway rely on others. Among my batch of brother I found two that are good guys about to be....Clement and Mervyn....its pretty cool like in the animes,where the elder brother cleans and cooks for the younger sister,nah that will never happen in my life,clement won't cook for me to eat,not that his personality says so...but mervyn may clean my house:) SOOO EXCITED SHOW DOWN WITH CLEMENT I SHALL TRY MY BEST

Laughing through the day
Thinking you are never boring
Speeding through the night
Maybe you not count the morning

There's nothing you can do
To keep it out
There's nothing you can do
Just scream and shout

Living for today
But you just can't find tomorrow
Talking about the joy
But it never stops the sorrow

Wonderful Day

Today this wonderful started with the news that my elder sister would be away for 3 days! She had gone to Indonesia on a school trip,next,i woke up 3 hrs early feeling UT MOSTLY happy...which normally DOESN'T HAPPEN.Went to the bus top and waited for enyew, he came early...reach school earlier than all my bros,including CLEMENT,haha in your face.Well anyways CAME early,no scoldings,met that special guy...no scoldings from my mom....everything fitted in perfectly like a jigsaw puzzle its awesome!!!!!!!!!!

personalities

It seems to me that in my extended family,there are many certain someones that have multiple,and weird personalities,i dun blame them,neither to i not like them for this,in fact,even more the why i appreciate them.

cute icons~

٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶

Breathe

I was foolish I was WRONG,if i Knew I wouldn't Have done what i did,all I know is that guilt has envelope me,and it feels like its stuck and never gonna come out,it is SO suffocating,I feel unable to breathe,at the beginning of the year it feels that whatever i finally found,seems to like to fade away, i am so disappointed with myself,i don't even shine,and i can't even exists? Full of crap...

Me

Born on 13 May 1997,to Paul Yap and Jeanne Chng Ian Lang...with One elder sister and One younger Brother,I was the Middle child.Life was a bed of roses for the first,living in america...the business was going well and all...

winning

Winning is pretty important to me,I don't know why...thats how it was for me from young ESPECIALLY if it is against the opposite gender,cause i believev in EQUAL rights for both genders...

If I am so lucky,then why do tears come down at night?

Fucking angry.

Fucking angry,thx to En yew and his pettiness,its not that I am angry at him,i am angry at his pettiness,just because he was rejected by some girl does'nt make him rightfully allowed to disrespect her,and ignore her,and.......haiz,why are guys SOo petty? I don't gt it,I never will cause I am not a guy...I can't understand the way they think,WTH. She rejected you,big deal,soo u get mad at her? THAT SOOOO WRONG>

One after another,haiz....

One after another,haiz....

I have to unfortunately force myself to stay away from__________ and actually tis person has acess to readin tis blog sooo,i cannot name the person,thanks to is person i suffered alot, it will be difficult but I will try my utmost best to avoid and remain a distant space from him or her.........srry..................

life is getting soo complicated........................love. it is soo little,and small but yet soo essential,why? it seems to exist just to cause pain too my friends.....haiz

busy busy busy

reverse side.

Once upon a time,i used to be wacked up by the guy in my class,now that we are friends,i forgot abt the pain i went through..........and i meant ALOT OF PAIN......now when I see them in pain(my friends=.=) I am confused,some part of me feel their pain,the other part,is feeling ermm satisfied for getting revenge......just confused maybe i shouldnt get soo close to them its for their own good anyways......sorry folks.....1 m distance......jkjk,just have to reserve my strength....

These are my Sisters,on the left side is Vanessa,the eldest sis,and Estee the youngest....

Abdul Matin

He may not be my favourite brother.But he is the only sibling that is the closest to my situation, which for me i would say i he unerstands me the most....i think,I know I don't understand him at all...........he is lets put it in a nice way,"unique" "special" He functions in a way I cannot keep up with.........but he understands me the most,at least i feel that way.

I am NOT ashamed.

I am Not ashamed of my family Background,its true I can't compare to the ppl from my class,but it does'nt meant i have to bow dpwn to them its not true....i am a good as them,yes,they may have bigger fortunes but i CAN suffer hardships,can they? I don't know....but I just hope to be able to do as good as well,and if possible BETTER.

1)Vanessa Tan(1st January)
2)Phua Ian,En Yew(15January)
3)Mervyn Chye(17March)
4)Maybelline Yap(13May)
5)Abdul Matin(22June)
6)Fran n Gennifer(24 June)
7)Clement Ong(20 September)
8)Estee Ng(25December)
Extended family according age...9 in all

Mervyn Chye AKA. Baby kid.

Erm....well this is my oldr bro right after Enyew, he look like a KId does'nt he? Well thats what I thought until Thursday. In class h was always seen as the "kiddo" well thats just his outer character, he actually is a really matured n sensible person.

Clement Ong AKA Clementong

HE used to be just like big bro(en yew) annoying rude downright hatred towards him,but he is a changed person i guess,he seems nicer,it is weird,but all my bros have SPLIT personality!!!! well yeah its true,Clement is a hot tempered guy,super sharped toungue,but he ha got a kind heart, inside way way inside,SERIOUSLY inside he is really nice... :D ell to recall n write abt them is kinda tough for me to do now,cause it is soooo SUPER RARE he shows it,well at least now adays he does'nt shout at me...hahas yeah thats A BIG IMPROVEMENT,he used to yell at me for EVERY LITTLE thing seriously........sigh..........well thats that for CLEMENT,Ps:he is younger than me....YAY!

NEW BROTHERS

YAY! new additons to my extended family,2 new brother,actually 3 its just that i have yet to post abt the other one, Abdul Matin,Mervyn Chye and Clement ong,weird is'nt it? alays addingon new family members? well,these r ppl i can trust,all of them have done things to gain my trust but i would add them in another time...well bye bye....^^