Meeting Again.

Ma sister is going to find my dad in China, Its all great but I'm slightly unsure about this. if he had wanted to be in contact with us, that'd happen long ago. The day he stopped sending funds, the day I pronounced him dead in my life, in my heart. I do not wish to be entangled once more in this family drama of ours. Messy as ever.

Heads Up.

I realised on Friday, when I had seen Mr fathul, my vp walk pass my work place. Did I want to spend the rest of life being ashamed of my job, my status. If not, What is there I can do prevent all of the feared from coming true. It was a wake up call, an alarming one. One of my first tasks is to get my priorities right, work, school, which is absolute more important. I want to go to the school board to appeal for a transfer of classes. I want to do something instead of art, something I can study and excel in. I don't have any choice, I want to score.

My stomach won't settle down, it won't stop turning in circles and churning away. I feel nervous, but from what I do not know.Anchor, I'm the anchor in this family, the not so anchoring anchor. In between the dreamer sister and the failure-ish brother, I feel I have to stay grounded. I want nothing of this sort, but it's like my job at MAc, forced upon me and I have to take it. Gah... I don't even know what I wanted to say anymore... bu bye