I have looked through my blog briefly...there are alot of posts of course! I used to be so loyal to writing in faithfully day after day...

I'm going to re-make this blog to live again...since my real diary(book) has gone missing and I have alot of thoughts in my head right now...its not such a bad idea after all^^ lets me practice my english too...its pretty useful to be able to type so quickly also...so its a win win win situation...

Things hav'nt been going too well thats why i have'nt logged in for a long time,so well er...yeah my relationship with my mom is painful as ever and school is painful as ever so er..yea

Lost and not knowing what to do,is'nt new to me...I'm once again phsically and mentally exhausted!

Today, No this Year...I've been exceptionally blessed with tickets to many shows. Today I went to ZE:A's concert! I got all 9 of them to sign my album...HAPPY~

There are stuff that even this blog i am keeping secrets from...maybe i should be honest...i guess,but i'm scared what would happen if accidentally someone saw it....

7 years le eh...so long...not seeing my dad...on sun I talked to him on the phone,normally I won't like that,this time was no diff,talking to a stranger you don't know...shittest of them all? Yeah. I hate him I can't accept the fact of which why? I call him dad...damnit

I will protect you for as long as I can. I can't forever,but I'll try. I don't want to see you in shame,but I can't let myself suffer either. For as long as I can. I promise

Lost in trust,I don't know who else to trust in my life. I've taken gamble and lost,I'm sure everyone has lost something too in their life too. Me? I guess its family and friends,understanding and love. But once again I've chosen to trust a new other person,a wiser gamble I feel.

Yesterday,I went to Fran's party. It was fun and all,but no one could tell...I wasn't feeling well. I didn't eat much and was suffering from gastric. I couldn't eat. I had no appetite and felt uneasy. I wanted vomit,I was dizzy,I said nothing. It was their dream to be with Fran,wad was I to do? ruining it was out of the question

I keep posting my statuses abt this particular girl,its funny how she "likes" it,without knowing

I want out,I don't get what I did wrong. Every time it's the same story. I can't, I have to live outta this tragedy.

Went for GB session today,they said next week we were gonna have pizza,my gb teachers are weird to have

I have only 1 word to mark my death, FREEDOM. Not only for me to be released but also for those that are suffering due to my existence. I regret deeply for being placed on this earth and apologise sincerely.

Today I had a meet the parents session. I ended up crying throughout the sessions

Malaysia

I went to Malaysia together with my class today,it was unfortunately unpleasant...alot of bitching about,i hate bitching.....the place we visited didn't hold much interest for me and the food for lunch sucked horribly....I'm just glad its all over FINALLY... tomorrow my mom has to meet my form teacher and I'm nervous i failed almost all my subjects

I've been wondering,If I could cry,get angry be happy over that guy then is there a chance that I may like him? I'm not sure If I even like him,but sometimes I feel so safe so happy arnd him,he is certainly charming...

I kept crying....no matter wad,it was'nt going to change....my life was befitted this way and If I won't accept it and kept pushing against it,it won't change...but I can't accept tis I can't accept fate at least NO YET.

nauseous

I puked at bishan library yesterday,I was thinking about all the things I have to deal with,I suddenly felt nauseous ran to the toilet,was'nt in time to go to the toilet bowl I vomited into the sink.....it was grose

Birthday

This year,I'm not looking forward to celebrating my birthday...not interested. I have grown up and matured and learnt that my existence is a mistake and utterly useless....I don't think my birth should be celebrated and I regret for arriving on this earth. I really don't see my worth. Thats why I dun wanna celebrate my birthday

Truth

I am I have always been scared of the truth. I never know wads gonna happen after the truth prevails...this time it could mean me,becoming nothing...worthless and disappearing. Should I unwrap this gift of mystery's? Is it worth it to know it all?

Attracted

This amazing thing. I am somehow attracted to him, even though he is horrible and rude and just opp of my "ideal" i am attracted to tis guy

years and years........i don't wish to regard my birthday this year....its not good. I just want to forget abt it tis year

I can't

I can't let anyone see my blog anymore it has become kinda risky soooooo just me and me reading and updating this blog

some people I know don't now how exactly lucky they are.....YES...i envy them but I know I am blessed in ways,they aren't. and I know whats theirs shall never be mine sooo my extend of "envy" or "jealousy"is not as much.....I just wish they could see how much luckier than me they really are it really pisses me of when they don't see it....soo many others are suffering there and yet they.....haiz well i don't know what to say anymore

seriously i don't know whats wrong with me recently....so fidgety and all....its wwronngg

I hope he knows....how much pain I am going through now.........

Well I may have thought that my life would go SOO down hill,lets see...
1) I want to get out of my class
2)I am being counselled
3)emotionally challenged
4)mentally wronged
5)confused in heart

crash couse on girls

1.I trust you.
2.I don’t like attention from other men.
3.It doesn’t bother me if you look at other women.
4.It doesn’t matter how much you make.
5.You’re the best I’ve ever had!
6.Size doesn’t matter, it’s how you use it!
7.Your friends are great! I don’t mind if they come over.
8.I don’t mind if you go to a strip club with your friends
9..Nothing is wrong, I'm OK
10.Its just gonna take 10 more mins to put my makeup on

I did something wrong........I tried my best to earn my forgiveness.......that horrible person threw away my heart that I placed into making that JAR of apology stars..........I HATE THAT PERSON. 3 days of little sleep and not enough time for food.....trying to fill the jar as much as I can....hurt

A true friend sees the first tear, catches the second and stops the third. Unlike some of my frens are the cause of my millions of wasted tears

In my life. I hate. I fell in love.

I feel for him. I don't know why. I came naturally. My heart rate increased when I accidentally lokked at him. It is sooo scary. I don't know,I have NEVER felt this way before.

breathing...smiling the simplest things in life,i can barely make it.

CRASH COURSE ON BOYS

1. Guys are more emotional then you think, if they loved you at one point, it'll take them a lot longer then you think to let you go, and it hurts every second that they try.

2. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

3. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

4. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him

5. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're going for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-he… method.

6. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

7. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.

8. Guys don't care how gorgeous you are, if you're a *********-- Goodbye.

9. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...never mind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

10. Girls are guys' weaknesses.

11. Guys are very open about themselves.

12. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

13. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

14. Guys love you more than you love them.

15. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. They rarely use beautiful or gorgeous. If a guy uses that, he loves you or likes you a whole hell of a lot.

16. No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.

17. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.

18. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.

19. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.

20. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.

21. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.

22. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me." but if he said he doesnt want to talk about it, give him a day or 2 and he will come out

23. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.

24. When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you to disagree with them.

25. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.

26. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

27. Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.

28. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.

29. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.

30. A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.

31. No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.

32. Not all guys are assholes. Just because ONE is a jackass doesn’t mean he represents ALL of them.

33. They love it when girls talk about their boobs.

34. When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you sexually

35. Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs

36. Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it ..it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts lol

37. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.

38. Even if you dump a guy months ago and he loved you he probaly still does and if he had one wish it would be you to come back into his life.

39.Usually (not all the time) it's the guys who have all the millions of girlfriends how treat you bad, most of the "less popular" guys will treat you better.

40.Sometime men appreciate the burden being taken off of them. If you like someone... tell them. Otherwise nothing ever materializes from your feelings.! Most guys like it when girls ask them out

41.99% of the time we didn’t mean to hurt you, so don't take everything we say seriously lol^^

42. Trust us, you are DEFINITELY not always right.If you are wrong just admit it, please.Believe it or not, but we are VERY forgiving

prayer for my fragile heart

I pray to heaven,god,and all the angels. That Love will NEVER ever,knock on my door,the real one,not the crushes and stupid puppy love. If i were to receive such true love,i hope that that person's soul will be blessed abundantly.Protect his willpower to live.Protect my weakling inner soul,my heart.

Love.

Love is a strange and funny thing.I dont get it... i never will i guess,I watch all my friends,one after another fall into the traps,of the mysterious ways of love...what good is there to be in love? why is it sooo yearned for by many people? aslong as you love yourself,it does'nt matter if everyone else hates you....as long as you have that trust with yourself...you can make it.

Love is patient and kind, Love is not jealous, conceited, proud or
boastful, it is not arrogant, selfish, irritable or rude. Love does
not keep a record of wrongs. Love is not happy with evil, but is happy
with the truth, Love never gives up, and its faith, hope and patience
never fail. Love is eternal. ( click share :) & share it with your friends , thank you )

I'm lucky.

I'm lucky to received such good friends,it is a gift from GOD.I know I have been changing from negative to positive,and vice versa but through it all...i have GOOD frens.

If.If.If.What if...it happened.I will suffer the most.Even breathing can become painful.If and If blows up my mind.I am afraid.I don't want it to happen

courage

I don't have the courage to fall in love.I stay away from the people I know I will end up liking.This will hurt me,but its better this way.

will my earth stop rotating soo rapidly

I am terrified.What if somehow,some thing goes wrong...i end up...liking on of them what would i do?it is'nt the rumours,its how I feel...it' can go VERY VERY VERY wrong

change

changing,changed.Over the last 4 months i have been changing,now I am someone i dun know...it has been difficult and everything I go through,but the new me...seems soo horrible but others the people around me seem okay with me,i want to change back to my old self,but it won't be good

FALSE SENSE OF SERCURITY

looking at the filled side.

People keep telling me,DON'T LOOK AT THE HALF EMPTY CUP,LOOK AT THE HALF FILLED CUP............its it is'nt easy....HELP HELP HELP

CHARM

charming as much as they can be,it seems to normal for me to NOT create those special feelings towards them...its soo used to me already,protect myself before i get hurt...if for eternity i am like that,i can foresee a lonely future....when can I let go?

awww man if i lose to clement,i would become SOO pissed off,I AM a feminsts afterall,now i worry hy didnt i think earlier???soo dumb of me

COOKING

Guys that can cook and clean will make good people...cause otherwise they will alway rely on others. Among my batch of brother I found two that are good guys about to be....Clement and Mervyn....its pretty cool like in the animes,where the elder brother cleans and cooks for the younger sister,nah that will never happen in my life,clement won't cook for me to eat,not that his personality says so...but mervyn may clean my house:) SOOO EXCITED SHOW DOWN WITH CLEMENT I SHALL TRY MY BEST

Laughing through the day
Thinking you are never boring
Speeding through the night
Maybe you not count the morning

There's nothing you can do
To keep it out
There's nothing you can do
Just scream and shout

Living for today
But you just can't find tomorrow
Talking about the joy
But it never stops the sorrow

Wonderful Day

Today this wonderful started with the news that my elder sister would be away for 3 days! She had gone to Indonesia on a school trip,next,i woke up 3 hrs early feeling UT MOSTLY happy...which normally DOESN'T HAPPEN.Went to the bus top and waited for enyew, he came early...reach school earlier than all my bros,including CLEMENT,haha in your face.Well anyways CAME early,no scoldings,met that special guy...no scoldings from my mom....everything fitted in perfectly like a jigsaw puzzle its awesome!!!!!!!!!!

personalities

It seems to me that in my extended family,there are many certain someones that have multiple,and weird personalities,i dun blame them,neither to i not like them for this,in fact,even more the why i appreciate them.

cute icons~

٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶

Breathe

I was foolish I was WRONG,if i Knew I wouldn't Have done what i did,all I know is that guilt has envelope me,and it feels like its stuck and never gonna come out,it is SO suffocating,I feel unable to breathe,at the beginning of the year it feels that whatever i finally found,seems to like to fade away, i am so disappointed with myself,i don't even shine,and i can't even exists? Full of crap...

Me

Born on 13 May 1997,to Paul Yap and Jeanne Chng Ian Lang...with One elder sister and One younger Brother,I was the Middle child.Life was a bed of roses for the first,living in america...the business was going well and all...

winning

Winning is pretty important to me,I don't know why...thats how it was for me from young ESPECIALLY if it is against the opposite gender,cause i believev in EQUAL rights for both genders...

If I am so lucky,then why do tears come down at night?

Fucking angry.

Fucking angry,thx to En yew and his pettiness,its not that I am angry at him,i am angry at his pettiness,just because he was rejected by some girl does'nt make him rightfully allowed to disrespect her,and ignore her,and.......haiz,why are guys SOo petty? I don't gt it,I never will cause I am not a guy...I can't understand the way they think,WTH. She rejected you,big deal,soo u get mad at her? THAT SOOOO WRONG>

One after another,haiz....

One after another,haiz....

I have to unfortunately force myself to stay away from__________ and actually tis person has acess to readin tis blog sooo,i cannot name the person,thanks to is person i suffered alot, it will be difficult but I will try my utmost best to avoid and remain a distant space from him or her.........srry..................

life is getting soo complicated........................love. it is soo little,and small but yet soo essential,why? it seems to exist just to cause pain too my friends.....haiz

busy busy busy

reverse side.

Once upon a time,i used to be wacked up by the guy in my class,now that we are friends,i forgot abt the pain i went through..........and i meant ALOT OF PAIN......now when I see them in pain(my friends=.=) I am confused,some part of me feel their pain,the other part,is feeling ermm satisfied for getting revenge......just confused maybe i shouldnt get soo close to them its for their own good anyways......sorry folks.....1 m distance......jkjk,just have to reserve my strength....

These are my Sisters,on the left side is Vanessa,the eldest sis,and Estee the youngest....

Abdul Matin

He may not be my favourite brother.But he is the only sibling that is the closest to my situation, which for me i would say i he unerstands me the most....i think,I know I don't understand him at all...........he is lets put it in a nice way,"unique" "special" He functions in a way I cannot keep up with.........but he understands me the most,at least i feel that way.

I am NOT ashamed.

I am Not ashamed of my family Background,its true I can't compare to the ppl from my class,but it does'nt meant i have to bow dpwn to them its not true....i am a good as them,yes,they may have bigger fortunes but i CAN suffer hardships,can they? I don't know....but I just hope to be able to do as good as well,and if possible BETTER.

1)Vanessa Tan(1st January)
2)Phua Ian,En Yew(15January)
3)Mervyn Chye(17March)
4)Maybelline Yap(13May)
5)Abdul Matin(22June)
6)Fran n Gennifer(24 June)
7)Clement Ong(20 September)
8)Estee Ng(25December)
Extended family according age...9 in all

Mervyn Chye AKA. Baby kid.

Erm....well this is my oldr bro right after Enyew, he look like a KId does'nt he? Well thats what I thought until Thursday. In class h was always seen as the "kiddo" well thats just his outer character, he actually is a really matured n sensible person.

Clement Ong AKA Clementong

HE used to be just like big bro(en yew) annoying rude downright hatred towards him,but he is a changed person i guess,he seems nicer,it is weird,but all my bros have SPLIT personality!!!! well yeah its true,Clement is a hot tempered guy,super sharped toungue,but he ha got a kind heart, inside way way inside,SERIOUSLY inside he is really nice... :D ell to recall n write abt them is kinda tough for me to do now,cause it is soooo SUPER RARE he shows it,well at least now adays he does'nt shout at me...hahas yeah thats A BIG IMPROVEMENT,he used to yell at me for EVERY LITTLE thing seriously........sigh..........well thats that for CLEMENT,Ps:he is younger than me....YAY!

NEW BROTHERS

YAY! new additons to my extended family,2 new brother,actually 3 its just that i have yet to post abt the other one, Abdul Matin,Mervyn Chye and Clement ong,weird is'nt it? alays addingon new family members? well,these r ppl i can trust,all of them have done things to gain my trust but i would add them in another time...well bye bye....^^

I am innocent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am innocent form crimes! I was accused! _______________ , told me today he had been hearing complaints OF ME! WTH? WHAT DID I DO? I feel soo upset, I almost cried during math tution, I hate bein misunderstood, I'm a good student, I am sure I am, If my grades are bad that I can't help it. I have problems understandin maths! But no matter what I am not the kind that distracts the class, cause trouble or NOT hand in my hw. I may have once,but I am not the type tat nvr does her HW, realise that, I am A GOOD STUDENT, STRIVING TO EXCEL but here u are putting me down. THE sooner you realise how I am the sooner I will become happy again.

I was, someone I was so sure of, I knew who I was. Now, I don't. I can see who I am, I don't Know who I am, I can see people anymore,but I have lost my sight, I see but i don't see.-maybelline

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlxTOjyddXE&feature=related
HAIRSPRAY songz rock on

I've done it, I've broken the Oath, I knew I would do it one day but...I did'nt think it'll be soo fast.

WHEN WILL THE BELLS START TO RING?

ʇ,uɐɔ ʎႨ!ɯɐɟ ʎɯ ʇɐႡʇ op uɐɔ spuә!ɹɟ ʎɯ 'ɯɐ ! oႡʍ ɹoɟ әɯ ʇdәɔɔɐ puɐ әɯ әʌoႨ oʇ әuoәɯos ɹoɟ s! ʇuɐʍ ! ႨႨɐ 'ɯɐ ! ʎɐʍ әႡʇ әƃuɐႡɔ uɐɔ ƃu!Ⴁʇou˙˙˙op oʇ ʇɐႡʍ ʞp!'pәsnɟuoɔ'pәʌoႨun'pәʇuɐʍun ¿ʇɐʇ әʞ!Ⴈ әq әɟ!Ⴈ ʇsnɯ ʎႡʍ

Baby by justin bieber :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kffacxfA7G4&feature=player_embedded

Is it game over for me? I have'nt even reached the top level and i am falling already, life's game is tough too tough for me to carry on.

Behind the dullest and greyest cloud, the sun still shines. Is that what I'm supposed to believe in?

My life feels empty, I have no idea why I live why I breathe, WHY?

LETTER TO MY FATHER(REAL)

Years have gone by, since I last seen you, to you, you may think I still have that spot for you in my heart. Think again, Why would I continually let a person come into my heart and stab it hurting me? I despise you, the man that let me hope and then hurt me over and over again. Where were you? When I went to pri school? On the first day, all the parents were there where were YOU? All my life since I turned 5 you disapeared from my life, you told me it was for work. What work? Work that does'nt pay? Work that you take money from your wife and don't deposit it back into the family expenses? I am sickened by you...

LONELY AGAIN

SOMehow, my day my life my everything has led me to this pathetic spot...LONELY, i feel like I am alone no one to rely on, no one to depend, feel wanted by. Why? am i the only one feeling like this?

Well just as I was thinking that my luck had changed for the better...some classmate of mine has to come and change it for me!!!

I look around, I can't breathe...I... I... I ......I can't accept this fact I really don"t want to...

Never

I don't want to admit it , I never want to I never will...I shall bury this in me

NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LADY LUCK THANK YOU

finally i think lady luck has decided to shine on me...FINALLY...until yesterday my luck 4 this year has been really bad, tripping all over the place...getting into accidents and all...that was my life...

AN AWKWARD GIFT

I received a gift today...the truth is i don't like receiving from people it feels not right because? IT just is'nt my human nature...so i seek out to people : don't spend TOO much money on gifts...its awkward
PS: thanks alot 4 the gift EVANGELINE i like the gift...

NEWS Koi no ABO PV

B.B.B

MY BEST BIG BROTHER....today this HORRIBLE guy named"Ignatius" continually threw verbal abuses at me about my family and all...I WAS FEELING REALLY pissed off and emotionally drained with this guy...SERIOUSLY if i had it my way i would send him to timbakto and never see him again that SON OF A B**** , T hank goodness for my awesome newly appointed BIG BRO...helped me get even with that sickening guy woah he looked soo FREAKING DAMN COOL!!! i meant you only see this kinda stuff in dramas or something where the big bro is defending the sis its WAY WAY AWESOME...WAAAAAAAAAAA~ i feel like i really have the best brother in the world...maybe i am thinking too far but it feels kinda true

MARIAH CAREY BYE BYE: THE SONG I WANT TO BE PLAYED AT MY FUNERAL

BROTHER IN LAW

hahas....my "sister" as in my really good friend has this guy that fancies her or at least he well shows it...calling her dearest darling...and holding hands in class awww so sweet i wanna puke...<3 well i kinda like teasing him cause his face will get all red and he'll REALLY throw up a fit...it is just soo fun! well calling him brother-in-law was all my idea and i think it is such a brilliant idea

BIG BROTHER

MY NEW BIG BROTHER....EN YEW aka. oni-san
he is actually a guy in my class but since he gives of this big brother vibe i can't help but feel as thought he is my bro...he said ok to it and i am fine with it i thank god for this new person in my life


watch this: what a girl wants...

how does it feel to be in love with someone? I don't know...i can't remember, But i know it feels magical each moment you feel it...

CRUSH?

IT has been so long since i love fell for someone as in fall in love...i can hardly remember how it feels when you speak to that someone and your whole stomach flips and blood gushes to your face,you blush...each time you sneak a glance at he your heart jumps...i kinda miss that feeling...

IEI VIDEO 1

SLAPPED

TODAY, a classmate of mine well, actually A GUY SLAPPED ME...ON THE FACE AS HARD AS MY MOM!!! how awful...i wanted to cry because it reminded me of my mom...when she slapped me i would feel down...when i attepted to shout and get my revenge his "loyal" friend whom normally would stay out of things decided to STEP IN! He used his words to anger me...i got mad wacked him hard with a waterbottle he really got mad...he ...well at least looked really mad......... i can't blame him but i also can't take the blame for what happened...he placed his face really near mine, i used my files in my hand to block out his face, well a shouting match continued after that he got to the climate and got SUPER angry when it landed on his nose...oops(accident) i hate my life...i hate THIS TWO f******** CLASSMATES

BURN MY PAST, SEE MY PRESENT, YEARN FOR MY FUTURE

BURN MY PAST, SEE MY PRESENT, YEARN FOR MY FUTURE. I SHALL LIVE BY THESE WORDS

i hate days where i have LOADS OF HOMEWORK

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqfLVDIZcP8&feature=channel

"bye bye" by mariah carrie such a beautiful song <3

Dear Heavenly FAther,
i hope you are watching over in me...as i have requested, in my last letter to you...
I really feel lost in my world, life...i hardly know what my purpose IN LIFE........ i need to know i want to know when? will you let me know ASAP?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZtUA9_ID0U&feature=channel

A song that makes me all the more thank ful for my bff

3/2/10

I really owe the Lee family sooo much they treat me just like a part of their warm loving circle i feel so loved with them...

Happiness is available to you , it is not something that external circumstances create.It is something that you allow. Happiness is available to you , it is not something that external circumstances create.It is something that you allow. Happiness is available to you , it is not something that external circumstances create.It is something that you allow.

SUGAR BABES

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYYDDwVgHNo

sugarbabes awesome song!!!

wat is love to people? that little warm thing in you that you feel when you are loved by someone is indescribable, once you've felt it you will keep yearning for it...those that have yet to experience it you will realise that there is something missing in your heart like a gap unfilled...

i've decided to start makin a people in my life profiles like add it all up in the blog here so nxt time i'll remeber it all awww so sweet...^^so....keep your eyes out for it comin soon...>_< hopefully.

my 1E1 classmates during school camp...they look all so happy!!!

blood stains

TOday something bad bad happened...i threw a recorder the type u blow in pri school? and it hit my bro's head his head bled alot he went to the hospital and got his wound sown up...eww...i guess i should feel guilty but it was'nt all that my fault

I FEEL lost...no purpose no goal no nothing just a pathetic thing wandering from day to day... ... leading myself to NOTHING i don't noe why i live...i need to know smoeone please tell me

SIGH...yesterday seems like a dream...... ... ... the running happened all so sudden... the funny thing is that i don't feel tired at least not that much... well I am NEVER gonna run again...again...

I FEEL SICK... not physically well abit physically (caught the flu...) but emotionally I feel empty...it is like i don't live for anything, living from day to day for no reason...i feel soo sick of myself i am a waster a waster for the space i consume the food i take in the air breathe on...there is no purpose for me......i feel awful the other more IMPORTANT ppl die,yet I live on...why? I NEED A REASON...TO LIVE!!!

LET ME HEAR YOUR VOICE BIG BANG

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQjcJBGIFsA&feature=fvst
THE BEST SONG EVER CREATED BY BIG BANG (I THINK)

BIG BANG (1)

BIG BANG I LOVE THEM TO DEATH AIN'T THEY HOT??? THE MUSIC THAT THEY CREATE IS EVEN BETTER...

27-1-10

aww man~ i don't have a valentines for valentines day...oops well then i guess i shall give my gift to my gifriends~ since most of them also don't have crushes i mean the guys in the class have no standared... (no offence...) seriously? who has a valentines not me,not fran, not amelia, soo... i don't know who?

27-1-10

it has been a while since i last typed something AGAIN...life has been hectic and all...but today my girlfriends and i

26-1-10 pt 2

this girl sitting nxt to me is in cahoots with that hanlin abt me liking that guy...(isaac) he is'nt all that cute...yeah he is the fastest runner he is FIT! soo i don't have to like him because of that right?

26-1-10

I HATE THE WAY I AM NOW!!!! I SHOULD'NT HAVE CHANGED...SEE? PEOPLE THINK WEIRDLY WHEN I STICK UP FOR THEM...FROM THE GUYS! hanlin this girl from my class thinks i like this guy from class that i keep fighting against because i dn't like him bullying my friend...i heard from the guys that in their dictionary that if a girl keeps on fighting then to them it means that she is flirting with them WAT THE F*** since when? THEY have to think the GIRL ways....

22/1/10

okay time to get CLEAN... DO I HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE IN CLASS? ANS:NO!!!The guys in class are... not really my type i go for umm...gentleman types but so far i have only seen 3 gentlemans the rest r barbarians!!! seriously so if u r from my class and u keep asking me if i do have a crush on a guy NO I DON'T GET IT? i stay loyal to my ONE and ONLY crush which is not in our class/school...TURNING THE TOPIC SOMEWHERE ELSE! i really have troubles coping with my studies seriously! i can't understand math,science is turning hectic wat else ?

21-1-10

waaaaa i wanna cry soo badly~ the guys in my class may be smart but they are definitely not gentlemans i am sick and tired of getting BULLIED by them why can't they be like the guys from dramas? I don't wanna be the class secetary!!!! IT SUX TOO BE ME i wished i was born into a better life. It does'nt pay to be nice especially if u r in 1E1 SERIOUSLY!!!!
WANT TO KNOW MORE ABT MY HORRIBLE HORRIBLE DAY?
1) i ran up 4 stories and down plus run around the school 12 times
2) because of the running i was late 4 the home econics lesson i got scolded 4 bein late
3) the teacher does'nt realise i need to change out of my PE t-shirt she ask me why the others are already there WHY? BECAUSE they are GUYS the don't need to change !!!! shit
4) i fell on the school car park(ouch)
5) i got cheated of $ 3
6) i... i don't know anyway i HATED MY DAY!!!!

I am always too lazy to update my blog whenever i come home from school so i used only the time i am SUPER free to type in an entry... well everything has been goin really well i think at least my duties to the class aren't bein performed in goo shape at all the class refuses to listen to me... I don't noe wat to do i can't shout right? well putting that aside i seemed to have come into close contact with my crush which made my heart beat really REALLY fast... i don't know wat to do it is soo weird well i act like we are just friends but in my heart i feel that little something special... sigh~

16.1.10

it has been a while since i last posted something on my blog i am soo busy now a days ...
i wanted to let everyone know i am happier now and well and alive i feel better i feel more positive ...all of a sudden i want to shout to the world that i am someone better than from the past... will anyone find out i guess soo, i have a new attitude towards things i know it is because of my mindset , my new year resolution, to live life to the fullest... I know it is gonna be hard from here but i want to be a new someone i don't want to be that person whom stands at the corner sulking i want to SHINE i want to be new, So many I wants... will i be able do this i want to be able tell people YES, i have done it.

16.1.10

I am a changed person... I am a changing person...
I want to be someone new
someone stronger
someone better
someone who can stand up for justice
someone who knows right.

9/1/10

Ha wat a boring and painful day~ M y mom wacked me oh soo hard today n I didi'nt even do anything! SO mean.

8/1/10

Well it has come to an end , the first week of my secondary school life. Eventful yet exhausting.

7/1/10

Well today I had my first Home econics Lesson THANK GOD I was paired with a girl...

6/1/10

It has been 3 days already since i started secondary school, it has been really well tough for me I mean not in school but at home i mean it has been so difficult to get along with my mom and sis not to mention my little brother.I am getting exhausted with my life and it has been barely a few days. But i can feel it sometimes like my head will get warm and I will start coughing profusely. I ain't feeling too well physically and emotionally. I really hope to be feeling better soon. Tomorrow we have CCA trials 4 the Physical ones but well it is gonna be a waste of time cause I am totALLY uninterested in SPORTZ.

5/1/10

It was the second day of secondary life... well i can say that GuangYang is very different from Marymount les organised and disciplined. Too bad? I really hope to fit in soon..

4/1/10

WOW today was my first day of school it was well okay? I was running for vice- chairperson unfortunately I didi'nt get elected. But i managed to snitch the secetary seat at least i have a bit of responsibility!

3/1/10

Tomorrow is the start of my secondary life! A new beginning for me i hope to live up to my motto: to live life to the fullest, with no regrets. I pray hard to become wiser and also do well in everything.

2/1/10

Well... today i went on an excersise trip with wendy n her dad it was tiring yet really fun!